What Are You Afraid Of?

My last post nicely provided a segue into this topic of fear. As a kid I shared some of the typical childhood fears such as being scared of the dark, thunder, and silverfish (yup, they're gross). I'm beyond thankful that in the past few years of my life I've been able to shake all of those fears...but there is one I'm still holding on to.

I am terrified of being trapped. 

The thought of being stuck or contained emotionally, physically, spiritually, or mentally literally makes me nauseous. I think the explanation of this fear is that in being trapped I experience a(n)...

                                  loss of control,
                                          inability to escape, 
                                                  and ultimately, powerlessness.

Needless to say this causes some conflict in my life. The first area that comes to mind for me is always marriage. I'm going to be stuck with the same person forever! That just sounds awful. I can't even stand to have only one group of friends or live with the people I hang out with...how am I going to date and then marry and then live with the same person without getting tired of him?!

(Before you get too concerned, I've been debriefing my thoughts and feelings on the topic of marriage for a few years now and I'm gotten my feelings of shear terror down to only slight apprehension. God is good and merciful.)

The other example that has popped up recently has to do with physical location. Now that I'm out of school for the moment and have my own apartment and job, I'm terrified of being stuck in Madison forever! And what's worse is I only get 10 days of vacation! I'm never going to be able to travel! I've been known to go places on the spur of the moment and now I'm unable to. I. DO. NOT. LIKE. THIS.

This weekend, the speaker at church taught from the story of Jonah and told us that the places we don't want to go are examples of us saying "no" to God. I realized that there aren't places I wouldn't go, but there plenty of places I wouldn't want to stay. Namely, all of them. My fear isn't of God telling me to go somewhere, but of God telling me to stay somewhere.

However, I recognize that as a Christian, I'm not called to live a life of fear or of being trapped. I am called to a life of glorious freedom. (John 8:31-36)


I have experienced the freedom in going many times in my life. I have not yet discovered the freedom in staying. I pray that God will show me. 

What are you afraid of?
Why are you afraid of it?
Where would you never want to go or stay?