Modesty: What's In A Word?

Answer: A whole hell of a lot! As I mentioned in my intro post, I grew up in an Evangelical home attending an Evangelical church and thus I learned from an early age that modesty was of the utmost importance. In fact, girls should take it upon themselves to protect their seemingly powerless brothers in Christ from the temptation and sin of lust! We do this by following three simple guidelines:

1. No tight jeans/short skirts!
2. No cleavage! (i.e. must wear color coordinated tank top under V-neck/low cut shirt at all times)
3. Absolutely NO BIKINIS!

Let me be the first to tell you that training girls like this is harmful in so many ways. For me it produced a kind of self-hatred. I didn't realize this until a few months ago when reading another blog on this topic. As an adolescent girl I always felt like I didn't have any body image issues. My nose wasn't too small, my lips and ears weren't too big, my hair wasn't the wrong color, and I loved food too much to stop eating it!

But I did have issues. My face was too beautiful and body was too attractive. Every time someone told me how pretty I was I cringed inside. Every time a guy looked at me in that way I felt like I was letting them down. There were even multiple times that I asked God why he made me look like this!? 

So for all those people who consistently ask me why I've never dated and why I'm not dating, here's your answer: "I'm not comfortable with a man being attracted to my physical body." And that is a damn shame. Because God did make me look like this. He made me in His image- heart, mind, soul, and BODY- and He is beautiful, so why shouldn't I be? Not to mention, the physical part of any relationship is also very important!

I had these crazy fantasies about finding a guy who, when I asked him why he liked me, would say things like my intellect, my sense of humor, my passion for truth and justice, my desire to know God...and who wouldn't mention my physical body. Turns out, guys don't exclude that last part, and I'm glad! PS~ if they do, they're 1) lying or 2) not the guy for you! (actually if they're lying to you, they shouldn't be the guy for you either)

I'm not saying that the idea of modesty is something to be thrown out the window, but I do think it's something we need to reevaluate. Maybe I'll post my thoughts on what I consider it to be tomorrow ;)

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I have broken a couple of the modesty rules: I love skinny jeans and no longer wear tank tops under all of my V-neck/low cut shirts. However, I have yet to break into the world of bikinis...but I am going on a cruise in October. The jury is out.

Are You Living At Work?

Today while sitting at my desk, I realized that I had been living under a large misconception. Somehow I had been fed the idea that my job or "work" would be a separate piece of my life...that it wouldn't be integrated into the whole. I would go to work during the day, but then come home in the evening and live my life. That's why everyone looks forward to the weekends, right? That's when you actually get to live! 


Simply not true. And if it is true for you, that's pathetic because you're wasting around 40% of your waking hours. After 4 weeks of full-time employment I've realized how much of an integral piece of my life my job is.  That being said, I have three tips for those of you who are just out college and looking for your first job (and I suppose for those of you who are looking to change jobs):

1. Choose a job you like and that inspires you: I spend close to 50 hours a week at my job...and I love it! A large portion of that is because I like what I do and because I know my job is an integrated component of my life. Another portion of that is I know that I'm impacting the lives of thousands and perhaps millions of people every day. 
2. Choose a company that fits who you are: Know your strengths and what energizes you and find a company that will let you do those things! I absolutely love learning, building relationships with customers, and taking responsibility for projects. At Epic, I've been encouraged to do all of these things from day 1. I couldn't find any other company that would let me do that right out of college. 
3. Choose a company that hires people you want to be like: The environment and the people we're around shape us. Fact. That being said, this tip should be obvious. I have yet to meet a person here that is not passionate, creative, and full of life. Not to mention they're all brilliant! 

I think in hearing all the advice about keeping your work life and home life separate we take it a little to the extreme. I'm not endorsing you checking work emails at 9pm at home (don't get crazy), but I am saying that you are living while you're at work. Act like it. Get to know your neighbors in the cubical or office next to yours, ask your boss about the kids in the picture on his/her desk, be aware that your officemate's spouse is in Africa! Yeah, she's in Africa! I was like, "WHAT!" 

What is your work/life philosophy? Where did you get it from?

How do you view your job? Is it integrated with or separated from the rest of your life? 

And to answer my title question, I certainly hope you are. 

The First Two Weeks

So, I actually moved to Madison 4 weeks ago, but this is a little update I wrote after my first two weeks on the job. After this post, things will be more current J

I have now successfully completed 2 full work weeks …and I am tired. Who knew working between 45 to 50 hours a week would be so exhausting! Needless to say, here are snapshots of my first 2 weeks:

Quotes of the week: 

Famous person- “Be yourself, everyone else is taken”- Oscar Wilde

One of my favorite playwrights of all time! Needless to say, I’m trying…but I’ve discovered that I don’t really fit in with Madison. That being said I’m now contemplating dreading my hair, getting a facial piercing, or tattooing half my body. Let voting commence!

Will-never-be-famous person- “I’m going to pretend I’m pregnant if he wants to break up with me.”

So I always knew this was a thing…but I was really hoping it wasn’t a real thing.  

Life Lessons: 

Apparently one has to write one’s own name on their apartment mailbox…who knew?

Obviously not me. After not receiving mail for a few days, I decided to write my name on my mailbox…and junk mail has been flowing in ever since.

Know what interests you and find people who are interested in the same things.

So depending on who you are and what you like to do, both sides of this statement may be a struggle. For me, I know my interests, but the people who are interested in the same thing seem rather hard to come by in Madison. Time to buckle down and search harder. Latin dance clubs, here I come!

On the Job: 

“It’s going to feel a lot like school for the first few months, but it’s not school. It’s your job.” – my mentor

I haven’t reconciled this one quite yet in my mind…it feels a whole heck of a lot like school. I sit in class for 4 hours a day, do projects, take exams- am I missing something?

Fail early. It will motivate you not to fail again.

Here in training, after we finish a set of classes we take exams and because there is such a high standard, employees are required to get at least an 85% on all tests to pass. I failed the first one. Was it a big deal to anyone but me? No. However, I will not be failing anymore.

 My office! 

View from my office

As you all can see, my office is quite bare. We are allowed to decorate however we would like so pass along your best office decorating tips! 

In The Beginning...

Lake Mendota Sunset in Madison

As I mentioned in the Intro, I started a new job in Madison, WI a few weeks ago. On that first Monday there were 309 other new hires with me. I had just moved to Madison the previous Friday. It actually wasn't as much of a whirlwind as I expected it might be. I'm so thankful that my dad and brother came up with me to move me in on Friday and then my mom came up on Saturday to hang out and help me unpack (let’s be honest, she did most of the unpacking). The following are a few very short snapshots into my first 5 days. 

Madison:

One should only walk around the capitol square counterclockwise during the weekly Farmers' Market! 

On Saturday morning my dad and I walked downtown to the bank which is conveniently located on the opposite side of the square...we were swimming upstream the entire time. 

"Hey. There's a disco right down the street if you want to party later." 

If you're walking around Madison at 10pm on a Saturday evening you will be politely invited by the slightly tipsy guys walking down your street to go party later...if you should so desire. This invitation was also extended to my mother who was walking with me. 

On the Job:

"Welcome to the over-achievers." 

My team at work. We technically have 6 months to finish training, but I was informed not even an hour into my first day that I will probably be receiving my first customer after about 4 months and I should aim to have everything done by then. My mentor then progressed to give me tips on how to most efficiently and effectively (and quickly) finish training. 

"Prepare to be overwhelmed. Everybody is. "

I asked my mentor who has worked at the company for the past 6 years how he felt about his workload...that was his response. 

God has been so good just in terms of the people I've met here. My mentor is awesome, as is my office mate. I've also met a wonderful woman through training that has been great since she's married, probably in her upper 20's and thus out of the partying stage...she's also Indian (had to find the one other non-white person in my training group!). That comment about the diversity of our group is only slightly exaggerated. 

It’s been quite the adventure thus far, but God has been so faithful in already giving me a church where I feel at home and a community to be a part of.

What advice would you give someone just out of college about life, their first job, or moving to a new city? Any and all thoughts are welcomed! 

Intro

Let me start by saying, I don’t know why I’m doing this.

Maybe because crafting words is fun to me…not that I’m necessarily good at it.

Maybe because I’m an introvert and hate talking…that’s probably more the reason.

I was always the kid in class that sat in the back corner. The one the teacher thought was never engaged because I never interacted during class. But, I was listening. Listening and thinking and daydreaming.

I grew up in an evangelical church and accepted Christ at an early age…8 I think. Now that I know more about the psychological stages of moral development, I would say that I actually surrendered my life to God my junior year of high school. All that to say my worldview is very “White, middle-class, Evangelical.” And yes, that is a thing. 

My musings will probably pertain mostly to my faith, sexuality, and racial identity. I've realized over my lifetime that all of those things are a giant mess.

I have recently moved to a new city and started a new job, so I don't promise that posts about that won't creep into the mix as well. 

For those of you who care: 
Relator. 
Context. 
Learner. 
Individualization. 
Responsibility.
INTJ. 

It can actually explain quite a lot.